“She just wants her daughter to be happy”

Disclaimer: Ok, so this blog post is completely off brand! All my PNP hustlers please indulge me this one post to get this out. I promise you if you read this blog, and contemplate the content, I believe you will be immensely intrigued. Preciate you for understanding My G!

“She just wants her daughter to be happy!...” I can't get that statement out of my mind. My fiance is internally conflicted about how to reunite her daughter with the extended family of her ex-husband. At the end of the day who can fault a mother for wanting her child to be happy. What parent wouldn't do every thing in their ability to facilitate a happy life for their child. In many blended families experiencing happiness is a priority for every member of the family – including the kids. The difficulty in pursuing happiness, and not purpose is that happiness is circumstantial. Happiness is also self indulgent. Happiness, additionally, is conditional upon the internal desires and feelings of the one seeking satisfaction. No one person or situation can truly “make' you happy. Happiness is an elusive ideal that lulls your ability to perceive reality. When you can't consciously conceive the idea that life isn't designed to afford you happiness, then you misappropriate the prevailing forces of the universe that are conflicting you to purpose. To the degree you are aware of the space of time you occupy, will be the degree to which you become consciously aware of your purpose. Without purpose happiness is a distraction. Happiness void of discipline contradicts the instinctive evolution of life. The convergence of purpose and awareness of time produces power to live without the need for happiness. What is the need for happiness when you are consciously dead to your purpose?

I'm conflicted about how to completely support my fiance's effort to allow her daughter to resume relationships with people who's sole desire is to only make her happy. I'm sure her extended family members love her daughter. I'm sure they just want to have some semblance of a relationship with the little girl. After all those are her peoples, and that's all the family she really knows. But at what cost to the child? And at what cost to the relationship my fiance is attempting to build with her daughter? There has been no affirmation, nor acknowledgment of my fiance's position as a mother to ultimately determine what relationships are crucially necessary for her daughter by anyone from the extended family. This is one of the major factors in my fiance seeking full custody of her daughter. If her ex-husband doesn't completely respect her as a mother, how can I offer support to my fiance in allowing her daughter continuing relationships with those who are directly related to him. They're not going to disown there son. Nor would I suggest they do so. The conundrum for me is that as a PNP I have pretty much no direct influence. I have no legal rights because I have not adopted the child as my own. I also want my fiance's daughter to be happy. But I desire that (all) her relationships direct her to fulfill her highest potential, and I have yet to see evidence of that occurring with the man she knows as her dad. Unfortunately, parenting today is focused on the temporal acquisition of things and experiences that make kids happy. Too often this defeated focus ill-prepares kids to actualize their true independence - which is the antithesis of real life.

They Still Not Feelin' Me Though...

So 3 days a week I drop off the girls to school. It's literally a 3 minute drive from the crib, but whatever, I do it anyway. When the girls started the new school year I walked them to their class every morning. I felt proud to walk with the girls to class. I felt it really added to my PNPism'! When the girls felt comfortable enough that they could find their way to class, and the school lady kept asking for my damn I.D. everyday, I just walked them to the front door of the school. I always gave them hugs and told them some encouraging statement before they walked off. My G, I felt like I was on my father s#%t, and building a strong relationship with the girls. Bruh, let me tell you, before I left for work, I woke them janks up, made sure they were presentable for school, fed them breakfast, and then walked them to school (that walking s#%t quickly stop though My G).

Everything seemed to be going well with the girls. But I noticed that they started giving me that "half

homie hug" in the mornings. The girls are pretty affectionate, so in my mind "I was like what the hell going on?" Which is another reason why I started giving them hugs in the morning. I've always felt a need to protect my personal space when it came physical contact with kids, especially little girls. So out of respect for my finance, I carefully watched how I showed physical affection to the girls (outside of horseplay around the house). But I knew the next level of my PNP relationship with the girls would be becoming more attuned to their need for physical affection. So I implemented the hugs a my strategy to get closer to the girls.

As the school year past, the girls didn't seem to care so much about hugging. It got to a point where they would basically brush up against me to insinuate some type of "hug." My n!gg@ I starting thinking to myself these lil chics are amazing. I knew they were aware of the lil half s#%t they was doing, but I felt like I had to keep it "G", so I didn't say s#%t. But as soon as their momz picked them up from school, they would hug her like she just got out of prison or something.

So today when we got to school we were a little early. We sat in the hallway near the office until the bell ranged. Once the bell ranged these lil janks hugged each other, the oldest girl gave me the same half a$$ hug, and youngest jolted down the hall like it was pay day. I was like daaaaamn, that's what it is now?!

You can tell and sense a great deal if you pay attention to kids. For some this huggin' thing is not a big deal. But for those who are blending families, it's a good indication of the health of your relationships. As as PNP you got to understand that kids are not going to be very expressive of the personal feelings. My G it's important to maintain an attentive eye with the seedlings. Because just when you think you've come a long way with kids, they'll show you in some areas "they still not feelin' yo a$$!"

Oh!, So (I'm) showing favorites!!!

Between my ex-wife and my fiance, I have 8 kids that I have some connection or relationship with. The only bio-kid that lives with me is my 19 month old son. So my fiance has really only seen me in daddy action, for the most, is with our 19 month old lil man. Needless to say, but our parenting styles are vastly different from each other. Neither one of us are "touchy feely." We both are very affectionate with our son, but hell he's a baby. She kiss and hug on that lil n!gg@ like her a$$ about to go to prison next week! So when my youngest bio-daughter (affectionately known as "lil boo") comes over to the crib, I'm all kisses and hugs too.

Lil' boo is (6) and my fiance's joints are (5) & (9) years old. They are all girls, and do crazy lil girl fatherly energy" to match that of her girls. It's cool because I make it do what it do. My PNP swagg is off the meter!

ish. I genuinely love them all. I have grown to love my fiance's daughters more than I anticipated over the last couple years. However, my fiance's daughters are used to a lot tougher parenting than Lil' boo. She is very tender hearted, and very low energy for a 6 year old. However, my fiance's kids are quite different. I've had to adjust my "

My fiance and I got into a heated argument about a big a$$ lie Lil' boo told on her. We don't tolerate any form of lying from the kids (period). You get yo a$$ bust in our crib for lying. We simply don't play the s#%t. Lil' boo told her momz that my finance tried to pick her up from school one day. My baby momz and fiance are not on speaking terms, so that ish was a big deal My G! Once I found out from my baby momz what was up, I talked to my daughter the next time I saw her about what why she lied. She didn't have any excuse - at all! She just plain ol' lied! I was like "damn Lil' Boo trying to f#%k my s#%t up with my lady?" My fiance was heated, but she remained cool so she could see what I was gonna do. I talked to my daughter, and explained how disappointed I was with her. I also let her know that if she did anything like that again, I would spank her. I've probably only spanked my daughter like once her whole life. So when I said that I would spank her, she started crying like I whipped her a$$. I made her apologize to my fiance. I thought that ish was over. But it wasn't - not by a long shot my n!gg@!

My fiance wanted me to whip my daughter's backside. Because that's the rules of "our" crib. And my finance felt like she is "included" in the fam, so she should get the same treatment. I told her that was dumb as hell My G! My daughter don't live with us, and as a practice I give "all" the kids warnings before any type of spanking. I'm sensitive and aware that as a PNP that I can't just go around whippin' a$$ no matter what the f#%k going. But I do whip a$$! My lady felt I was wrong for not spanking Lil' boo. And that turned into a big a$$ family discussion about how I show favoritism to my daughter.

My n!gg@ let me hit to this, as long as you taking care of another man's kid(s), and providing for them before your bio-kids, can't nobody say s#%t to you about favoritism (period)! 

Now when your bio-joints live with you that's different. But until then, as long as you're fair, you do your PNP s#%t! Because as a PNP your commitment is commensurate of any father (hands down). Ain't no f#%kin' favorites when you faithfully and responsibly handlin' your business as a father. I salute you My G for being a stand up dude that put it down for kids you love, but know ain't yours. That's a real man, that's bomb-a$$ PNP!